musings,

Today I am sad. When I am not sleeping, I am sitting around, nothing to say, not wanting to do anything :)
I am sad as I wait for his e-mails, and when they do get here, they are just one-liners.

It's hard, but it's my choice to continue loving someone who has stopped loving me.

Crying and praying causes me to grow and these things keep my heart humble. I love You, Lord.

Road Trip!

Our band went on a road trip/photoshoot yesterday - well actually, not all of the band, but me, my brother (drummer), and our guitarist. Our bassist had work, I think. :) I took A LOT of pictures, not only portraits but also of nature - which I will post in the near future. But in this entry, I'll be postin' just a few pictures of us :D It was a rainy afternoon, but awesomely enough, it stopped raining when we reached one of the locations.

When we got to the spot we called "Narnia", I simply marveled at the beautiful surroundings! It was breathtaking. We were among cliffs, and on the other side was the sea. In the above photo, my brother had asked me to pose on one of the rocks, and I was like, "but I don't know how to pose" - of course I do, but not when someone else is taking my picture!

I didn't know I looked so worried, I just felt horrendously awkward, like I didn't know what to do with myself. I am SO good at giving instructions to my models, but I can't, for the life of me, pose freely in front of other people... even if it's my brother! Christian (our guitarist) was also taking pictures, which doubled the horror.

So I went ahead and ignored the cameras. I decided to just chitchat until it was all over :D In case I haven't told you yet, I like big shirts (since it covers up awkward proportions of the body lol). I wore shorts over my faded dark grey tights. And you can see my sneakers too :D

Finally time for some real shooting! I got up and with a big smile, wiped off whatever mud or moss there was on my shorts.

This is my brother, smoking, tsk tsk. Behind him is the sea I mentioned :)

And, let me introduce you to my brother's sneakers lol!

Ngyahahahah. I made my brother go over to a pile of coconut husks and ordered him to pretend he was eating lol. I am younger than him, in fact, the youngest of our family - so I am very bossy :D

This is Christian taking a picture of my brother :D He's a skilled photographer, in my opinion. He knows lots and has several equipment I wouldn't mind having lol. He uses Canon while my brother and I use Nikon.

 

This photo was taken by my brother, under my instruction :D Same with the bottom photo.

Behind me, the sea looked sooo lonely, but it looked beautiful as well. It would be a long fall from the ledge I was standing on!

Beautiful :)

 

She's Got Her Own Subtle Style :P

I like socks :) and big blouses... one-piece dresses, full-footed tights, boots, jackets, etc etc :D

Usually I just wear t-shirt and jeans when I go out though - it's what's comfortable for me, I guess. I know I've got great taste (lol) and I do apply it, but I don't have enough courage to be creative with my outfits yet.

That'd be easier to do in another country!

Right photo. The socks I wore in this photo have been with me for MANY years. I think I've had it since I was 15 - I'm 22 now :)

I don't usually wear make-up. In fact, in the photo on the left, it was my first time to wear make-up of my own accord :D It was for self-portrait fun... with just lipstick, foundation and blush. My friends in real life will probably throw a party if they ever saw me like this lol.

But all in all, I'm right at home with shirts or blouses with a pair of trusty jeans and a pair of shoes. Replace my black shoes (on the right photo) with sneakers and there you have both my daily regulars :D











Sure, fashion is awesome and eye-catching, but really, I am happy in clothes I can walk the streets with under the heat of the sun, clothes that can get rained on, and clothes that don't encourage men to see more than what's decent.

Have fun you all!

Effects of Coffee

Tonight, I washed mugs at the office sink, looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "hey, I'm beautiful" lol

We had just watched The Time Traveler's Wife and it certainly brought many random things to my mind, such as... Well... Perhaps someday someone's going to be honored to have me as his wife.

A Noble Heart

Charm is deceptive,
and beauty is fleeting;

but a woman
who fears the LORD
is to be praised.
Proverbs 30:31

 I do want to be sincerely loved - I've accepted this for quite some time now :) I just hope I will be able to discern what is sincere and what is false...

Been struggling with an unhealthy relationship for a little over a year, but right now I have mixed feelings about it. To be honest, I just want to grow up. When I was younger, I always said I would never be with someone who didn't love me and value me, but I sure didn't live up to my ideals.

Things don't always turn out the way you want them to, and at times we stop and find ourselves in the middle of a sad situation because of wrong and foolish decisions. It makes my heart ache, really.

Every heart is precious. I hope we can all learn to preserve it, along with our values and convictions.

Yes, it's painfully hard to stand firm when we fear rejection. But an honest man will love an honest woman. We don't have to try so hard to be like the rest of the world. We are each precious in the way we feel, think, and act.

Take care, everyone - man and woman alike :)