misses

Gustav and me, taken by papa :)

The day I found Lily

I miss Gustav. I remember when he was super little, he had always been my favorite... I love all the puppies but I dunnu... I liked taking him with me a lot. He was the first of them to get sold and I didn't say goodbye, maybe because I just didn't want to say goodbye :)

As for Lily, she died about a week after I found her... Her mother had gotten squashed on the road by some speeding car, and she was left among some flooded rushes. I miss her... I found a picture of her sitting on our steps, she was so tiny... my heart breaks whenever I think of her. She died because she was too young to be apart from her mother - she wouldn't eat properly, had to be taught to poo and pee. But she was already very weak from being left in the rain... I miss her a lot.

Both Gustav and Lily have been gone for many months now, but when I see their pictures, it makes me miss them :)

Of course, we have many animals around us left, and they're a happy bunch, and it makes me happy too :D

Have a nice day, everyone!

musings,

Today I am sad. When I am not sleeping, I am sitting around, nothing to say, not wanting to do anything :)
I am sad as I wait for his e-mails, and when they do get here, they are just one-liners.

It's hard, but it's my choice to continue loving someone who has stopped loving me.

Crying and praying causes me to grow and these things keep my heart humble. I love You, Lord.

A Noble Heart

Charm is deceptive,
and beauty is fleeting;

but a woman
who fears the LORD
is to be praised.
Proverbs 30:31

 I do want to be sincerely loved - I've accepted this for quite some time now :) I just hope I will be able to discern what is sincere and what is false...

Been struggling with an unhealthy relationship for a little over a year, but right now I have mixed feelings about it. To be honest, I just want to grow up. When I was younger, I always said I would never be with someone who didn't love me and value me, but I sure didn't live up to my ideals.

Things don't always turn out the way you want them to, and at times we stop and find ourselves in the middle of a sad situation because of wrong and foolish decisions. It makes my heart ache, really.

Every heart is precious. I hope we can all learn to preserve it, along with our values and convictions.

Yes, it's painfully hard to stand firm when we fear rejection. But an honest man will love an honest woman. We don't have to try so hard to be like the rest of the world. We are each precious in the way we feel, think, and act.

Take care, everyone - man and woman alike :)